Untuk yang terkasih, Indonesia

Thailand
17 Agustus 2016
21.00

Sejarah,
Terlalu menyakitkan
Terlalu kelam
Tiada bisa terbayang
Mereka kejam
Bengis
Jahat
Tega
Tombak beradu peluru
Ribuan nyawa tersapu
Beratus tahun merana
Semua lara
Syukur terucap
Tatkala semua berubah
Sulit dan berat
Tidak berarti tidak akan
Pahlawan yang membuktikan

Tapi kini,
Kau berdiri
Kau gagah
Menggema
Mengukir prestasi
Dihargai oleh mereka
Bahkan oleh mereka yang dulu merampas semua
Mata dunia terbuka
Mengakui bahwa
Kau berdiri
Kau gagah
Kau menggema
Kau mengukir prestasi
Kau indah
Dan mereka percaya
Hingga ribuan dari mereka datang membuktikan
Menyapamu yang dulu disia-sia

Kau,
Kaya
Akan sumber daya
Alam
Dan manusia
Kaya jiwa
Tersebar di ribuan pulau hingga nun jauh di sana
Prestasi
Dunia tahu bagaimana kau berjuang
Anak-anak bangsa mengukir sejarah dunia
Anak petani juara
Anak nelayan juara
Anak buruh juara
Anak pemulung juara
Anak pelosok juara
Benar-benar berjuang
Tanpa pikir latar belakang

Sayang
Atas kekayaanmu
Yang sungguh melimpah itu
Hati kadang tak berjalan serta merta
Yang kita sebut manusia
Banyak yang tak bernurani
Menjualmu kepada mereka
Mereka pencipta uang
Untuk (yang kita sebut) manusia
Sang pemburu nafsu dunia
Banyak yang menyakitimu
Membakar jantungmu
Mengotori aliran darahmu
Merobek kulitmu
Menutup akses nafasmu
Padahal mereka hidup darimu
Dari jerih payahmu berjuang

Kau,
Adalah yang terbaik
Setidaknya menurut diriku ini
Kau maha memberi
Udara bersih kau beri
Air bersih kau beri
Pemandangan hijau kau beri
Padi kau beri
Sayur segar kau beri
Ilmu kau beri
Cinta kasih kau beri
Perlindungan kau beri
Semua kau beri
Meski masih harus diperbaiki
Untuk kami yang seperti ini
Yang belum sadar apa arti semua ini
Terima kasih

Aku,
Mewakili diriku sendiri
Aku bisa apa
Aku siapa
Aku punya kemampuan apa
Aku yang papa
Bahkan terkadang keluar kata hina
Mulut kecilku mengecam
Mengapa semua gila
Aku menyalahkan
Menyalahkanmu yang hanya bisa diam
Sedangkan
Mereka lah orang-orang yang membuatmu terkesan hina
Orang-orangmu yang hina
Orang-orangmu yang biadab
Orang-orangmu yang merasa sempurna
Maafkan aku oh maafkan

Tapi aku,
Sungguh kasihan melihatmu dihina
Maaf jika kadang aku juga menghina
Mungkin aku juga termasuk mereka yang hina
Tapi sungguh
Aku sangat mencintaimu
Aku ingin mencintaimu lebih
Aku ingin memperjuangkanmu
Aku percaya bisa
Tapi aku bisa apa?
Mungkin kita
Aku dan mereka
Membawamu merdeka lebih nyata
Persetan dengan mereka yang berkata kita belum merdeka
Seolah peluh keringat dan darah tiada berharga
Seolah tidak menghargai betapa sulit mengucap kata merdeka
Aku menyebutmu merdeka


Kita,
Aku, kau, dan mereka
Sejarah terlalu pahit dikenang
Tiada yang mau mengulang
Sehingga
Kita harus bekerja
Membangunmu bersama
Demi kita semua
Oleh dan untuk kita
Bersama
Tidak hanya satu tapi semua
Kerjasama
Kita sudah merdeka dan akan terus merdeka
Dengan bekerja nyata bukan hanya omongan belaka
Untukmu Indonesia!

Dirgahayu Indonesia!

Indonesia merdeka!

Awakened!

  Today, I got a message from one of the best lecturers I have ever had. He reminded me about something. I told him about what made me confused (let's say about life, hmm) and finally I felt relieved. I just need someone to talk to, maybe. And I don't trust anybody about what's in my mind. I mean, I just cannot tell anything to any people. I need someone to trust and then to him/her I can share what's inside my mind. Then, we came up into a conclusion that whether I like it or not, whether I have eagerness or not, it is me, yes me, deciding what I should take, not someone else. Now, I understand that being mature is all about someone's self, no one else's. 

  Okay, I will tell you (whoever read this) about the most important thing that I got from my lecturer. It is related to managerial skill. He stated that there are three main points of importance here. First, personal need for the present. Yup, I really need many things (followed with money for sure) to continue my live here (living alone in other country) and I should be able to manage it. It should be not too little and not too big, for the expenses. Enough is enough. It is quite difficult for women especially when we see SALE or Discount up to 70% in some shops. But, yeah, I will try to manage it. Second, enough care for family. Being away from home and the one to rely on in the family makes me have more responsibility to take care of my family especially economically. I have to be able to decide wisely how much I should send every month. Enough, again. I have dad and mom who are still working (I can be less worried because they can still raise money by themselves) and one sister in senior high school who needs most of the expense in the family. Actually, my parents always say like I can send or not send. They always say that I should cover all my needs here first. Sometimes I see that they are quite worried about my being alone here. Therefore, they don't want to put more burden on me. But as the first child, I feel like I have that responsibility and I will give the best to my family. The last one is care about future. Hmm, talking about future, I have lots of dreams to reach. Those dreams of course need some amount of money. I think I can say everything starts from money. So, I have to save my money for the sake of my future. I want to reach my target (I have it in one amount of money), so I will save money starting from my salary this month. I really want to train myself about that managerial skill. And I will make it fair for those three things. Anyway, the managerial skill is related to my thesis for my bachelor degree actually haha. 

  Last but not least, as what's written in the tittle, I felt I am awaken. I got refreshed about something. I should find the way to reach my dream. And before I can make it come true, I have to train myself to write. Yes, my writing skill should be trained every day so then it will get improved. Before, I told myself to write about my experiences here (Ubon Ratchathani, Thailand) every day. By the way, I have been living in Thailand for almost three months but I just haven't touch my blog. I feel so tired after school (going home at 5, sometimes more than 5 pm) and still have to work for tomorrow so I broke my own saying. For now that I have already been awakened, I will try to write every day. I want to spend some time to write. I am still learning but I hope I can be consistent about this. Keep learning!